I’ve been smoking weed for almost four years now and I have always toyed with the idea of getting my med card. Conveniently, I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression back in 2021 so I knew I’d have no problem getting it. Thank god for mental illness, am I right? The only thing stopping me was money and the risk of my mom finding out. But now I’m moved out, I have a boyfriend who’s willing to help out with the cost in exchange for that dispensary kush (legally, that’s a joke), and I accidentally sent my mom a text asking if she’d like to take a bong hit with us, so I have nothing left to lose.
I went online and found two marijuana doctors near me: CannaMD and DocMD. I talked to my best friend, who has her card due to chronic pain, and she talked me through the process of getting one and told me that in total, the appointment and getting the actual card could cost upwards of $300. Luckily, DocMD was having a new patient special and I was able to book an appointment for only $101. So there I had it, my appointment was set for Wednesday, February 12th at 9:15 AM. Now I just had to wait it out and deal with the anxiety of doing something new all by myself. So now I’m here to answer the question: was it really as scary as my mind was making it out to be?
In summary…no! It was not scary at all. The biggest thing was convincing myself that my problem was real and I wasn’t just making it up for weed. I’ve been diagnosed with it, I’ve received therapy for years and I’ve been prescribed so many drugs over those years to help me deal with it. So yes, I was a real patient who did qualify, and no, I was not doing anything wrong. I did not get past that feeling until I was sitting in the chair, hearing them tell me I qualified.
The Process
If you’re considering getting yours, the first thing I’d tell you is to check the website of the office you’re making your appointment with to see if they have any information about what paperwork you’re going to need. If you can’t find anything on the website, just give them a quick call to make sure you’re able to get your hands on whatever they require. CannaMD needed a written prescription or diagnosis, while DocMD only needed your medical records, and anything else, like a prescription bottle with your name on it, is helpful but optional.
Once you have this information and the proper documentation, you’re ready to book your appointment. Once I had mine all set up, I received an email with a bunch of forms to fill out, signatures to sign, and medical records to upload. It took ten minutes or less and wasn’t very difficult.
Over the next five days, I did my research and read so many articles about what the dispensary experience was like. As someone with anxiety, I feel extremely uncomfortable doing things if I don’t know exactly what to expect, so figuring that out was my main priority. Honestly, the articles I read made it out to be much scarier than it actually was. They talked about there being security and someone who checks you in and about being led into the room to talk to someone about what you want. I was so nervous that I wouldn’t know what to say or where to go. But spoiler, It was so chill.
On the morning of my appointment, I woke up with the most extreme anxiety shits. But once I finished with that, I made sure to grab my bottle of antidepressants and my boyfriend drove me to my appointment.
I arrived a few minutes early and had expected to wait in their waiting room, just like I would at any other doctor but as soon as I got there, I told the physician’s assistant that I had an appointment and she took me straight into her office. It was just a white room with a desk, a computer, a scale like you’d have at home, and some fire ass weed posters. She took my vitals and by that, I mean she made me stand on the scale and read her the number, took my blood pressure and my temperature. She asked me for my birthday and made sure that I had uploaded my medical records. She was very kind and made me feel comfortable right away.
After those few questions, she sent me back to see the doctor, who’s office looked exactly the same, minus the scale. In stark contrast with the woman I had just spoken with, he was not very friendly, had a voice that sounded like a coffee grinder and supposedly only dated “very submissive Asian women” (intel I learned from the PA). He asked me my weight, my birthday, if I was pregnant, and how I treat my disorders. Therapy is a fine answer for that question if you’re not taking any medication by the way. He told me he was concerned about my age (a legal adult) and said that my brain isn’t fully developed and that it can be very habit forming, which is valid, but like why did he have to say it so mean?
Anyways, he told me what I qualified for way too quickly for me to understand and sent me back to the PA, who graciously explained everything to me. She helped me get registered for my card which cost $77 (bringing my total to $178). She explained that as soon as my payment went through, I’d be able to start shopping. It took like 30 seconds. She informed me that I’d be receiving an email containing a temporary card later in the day but until then, I could just use my drivers license as the database is connected to the DMV. She said this is how a cop will be able to know I’m allowed to smell like weed if I don’t have my card on me. She gave me a bunch of pamphlets containing deals and discounts for local dispensaries, of which there are dozens and we will be reviewing them all. And then sent me on my way. By the way, almost all dispensaries have new buyer discounts so definitely check the websites first.
The Dispensary
The DocMD by me is conveniently attached to a Fluent Cannabis Dispensary but after leaving my appointment, I was too anxious to go in. Like I said earlier, I still didn’t know what to expect. What did it look like in there? Were they gonna have everything out for you to browse like a smoke shop would? Is there gonna be a security guard? Are they going to be able to find me using my license or did the PA lie to me? (She did not, god bless her). I got back in the car and let my boyfriend hype me up until I was ready.
I had a vague idea of what I wanted: a sativa strain, an indica strain, and some edibles. I wanted to test the difference that sativas and indicas have on me from different dispensaries, a result I will be sharing with you all over a series of posts. So with that knowledge and nothing else, I put on my big girl panties, grabbed $100 worth of $20’s and went on to have the easiest experience of my life.
I won’t go into too much detail on that specific dispensary as I’m saving that for a later article (where I’ll compare the two strains, explain their effect on me, and rate the overall experience I had at Fluent) but I will tell you that it’s nothing to be scared of. When you enter, you’ll most likely be greeted with a waiting room similar to what you experienced in the doctor’s office. Someone at the desk will check you in with your driver’s license if you have nothing else and eventually, they’ll bring you into the main room. It’s obviously different for every dispensary and every location but it was really just a room with some counters and posters and just a few products behind the glass.
I followed her to her counter and she directed my attention to an Ipad with their menu pulled up. I told her I had never been to a dispensary before and she asked if I knew what I was looking into getting. I told her some flower and some edibles and when she asked about strains I told her an indica and a sativa. She asked how my tolerance was, to which I answered, “literally so low. I’m a one hit wonder baby”. She recommended a few strains with 19% and 17% THC and let me look at them on the Ipad. I picked out a few strains, told her what flavored edible gummies I wanted, and said that I was considering getting a cart. She told me the carts were on sale and obviously that meant I had to get one. She wrote down everything I wanted on a sticky note, went into the back room and came out with my haul. She packaged them up for me, signed me up for their points system (which I earned triple of because I just so happened to book my appointment for triple points day (I’m god’s favorite)). She told me my total, took my money, and I was good to go. I’ll do a better breakdown of the prices and sales in my Fluent focused article so be sure to check that out as well.
Conclusion
All of this to say, the process was literally so easy and you have nothing to be scared of. Everyone you’re dealing with smokes weed just like you. It felt so cool to be able to walk outside with my bag of legal weed and to know that what I’m smoking is safe and I can get more any time I want.
